reappropriate

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Is Jesus in the Constitution?

This morning, as I was standing, dazed and confused (what can I say, it was early) at the shuttle stop at my parking lot, a woman approached our small huddle of students. She was older, Caucasian by race, and a little farther past the middle in age, wearing the kinds of comforting clothing one expects of our grandmother's generation. She wandered up to us and asked no one in particular, "How much do you guys know about the Constitution?" We stared at her. After all, what was this woman doing, asking about the U.S. Constitution so early in the morning? Did she have a burning fifth amendment question that had kept her up all night? Was she perhaps brushing up for a naturalization exam? A brave soul behind me mumbled, "I'm not so good at history." The woman took this as a sign to continue. "Let me ask you guys six questions about the Constitution!" She proceeded to count them off on her fingers. "Is Jesus in the Constitution?" Silence. "Is there a word in the Constitution that takes the place of Jesus?" Confused silence. "Is the word 'democrat' in the Constitution? How about 'democratic'? 'Democracy'?" And the kicker: "What about the word 'republic'?" Did I forget to mention that my parking lot just happens to double as a church parking lot on the weekends? It was about this time that I noticed the "Ambassadors for Christ" sign hanging rather prominently over the door of the church I park behind. The woman took our silence as invitation to proceed. Perhaps we were too stupid, she was thinking, too dumbfounded by our own dastardly academic liberalism to understand her point. So she hammered it home... with a big, holy, consecrated sledgehammer. "Jesus is not in the Constitution. But the Lord is; the Constitution has the words 'in the year of our Lord 1787' meaning it was signed 1787 years after the birth of our 'Lord' Jesus Christ. There is no mention of the words 'democrat', 'democratic', or 'democracy' but the word 'republican' is." And with that, the woman turned on her heel, a self-satisfied grin on her face, and walked away. I think I just fell victim to a drive-by proselytizing.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Kaede said...

*stares, open-mouthed* o-ke........

.......

What does one say to something like that? *shakes head*

9/21/2005 06:47:00 PM  
Blogger jose said...

Cute. Well, think about how much time and effort she spent, and how many people she managed to convert. Then how many people she encouraged to entrench even further.

Could've kicked her ass. What other words does the Constitution mention that we can take out of context? "Welfare" in the preamble. Article I, Section 8: Government can "raise and support Armies, but [no longer] than two Years." How long have we been in Iraq?

9/21/2005 08:56:00 PM  
Blogger phillyjay said...

"Jesus is not in the Constitution. But the Lord is; the Constitution has the words 'in the year of our Lord 1787' meaning it was signed 1787 years after the birth of our 'Lord' Jesus Christ. There is no mention of the words 'democrat', 'democratic', or 'democracy' but the word 'republican' is."

What exactly is that suppose to prove?
That God is a republican and democratics are evil? :)

9/22/2005 10:40:00 PM  
Blogger nykol said...

that's just plain disturbing.

9/23/2005 05:13:00 PM  
Blogger nykol said...

BTW - are the words democrat or republic(an) in the bible? How about constitution?

It's this kind of narrow thinking that made me hate living out West (and your post about "yellowface" as well). Nevertheless, you'll find some cool folks out there. They're hard to find though.

But have no fear. I think the right wing and republican hubris is gonna bite them in the ass in a BIG way.

9/23/2005 10:03:00 PM  

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