Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Tower

Blogging has been bumming me out lately. I'm not sure why, but I've found myself at a loss -- there's nothing happening in the news except for Hurricane Katrina (imagine the post... breaking news! there's a big fucked up rain-storm in the South! details at 11!) and there's very little that has happened in my real life that would make good blogging material. My world perspective has shrunk over the last two weeks. Everything has been about staying on top of schoolwork; every day I wake up early, come to the lab to check my cell cultures, go to class where I take copious notes, go back to lab where I type them up and do more things with my cells, and then go home where I spend the rest of the evening reading papers and my textbook (and possibly typing up my copious notes). Lately, I've found that most of my dreams have been about physiology too. The other night, I actually dreamt I was walking along the outside of a cell membrane, watching glucose get transported across it. (Not to say I'm not enjoying the studying; I'm wholly immersed in a subject I truly do care about and love and the first two weeks of grad school have been pretty incredible...) It's bumming me out that this, one of my only forms of private escape, hasn't really been as rewarding as I had hoped, as of late. My thoughts on current issues seem more mundane, pedestrian and banal, and I know I'm capable of better. I've become more preoccupied about who's reading this blog, since I liked to keep my political viewpoints more divorced from my real life persona. Anyways, I post this in hopes that you guys, who're reading this blog, can have some understanding as to why my recent posts have seemed to be losing focus. Maybe all I need is something to talk about...


Blogger jose said...

Take a break from blogging, really focus on your real life, maybe? I took a break from a certain webforum for similar reasons. You don't want to start resenting this thing.

I would disagree, however, that there's nothing happening. If anything, Katrina is all about race dynamics, and at a minimum, distracting from other issues such as the PATRIOT Act with competing House and Senate bills to amend it, the poverty rate increasing, the War on Terra, etc..

But I see you're becoming more concerned with your audience. In some ways, when the main purpose shifts from rewarding yourself to entertaining others, it becomes less fun. If not a break, maybe a change in topic that makes it fun for you again. And if you're having fun, we would have fun too.

8/31/2005 09:14:00 PM  
Blogger Melinda Casino said...

Hang in there, you're probably just going through a normal blogging rut.

I, too, have become preoccupied with my subscribers: who's subscribing to me, and why? Will I lose the few subs I have if I post this? Or don't post this? Etc. Arrrrgh! It can drive you crazy... ;)

I've really enjoyed your blog lately, especially the APIA blog. (OT: it would be great to see more people join that network, to get more "voices" going on it).

Don't know what else I can do except say that Jose's advice is pretty good (taking a break, and the bit about rewarding others = less fun to blog).

Take care,

8/31/2005 10:11:00 PM  
Anonymous tekanji said...

In my oh-so-unoriginal way, I'm going to third what's been said: you don't feel like blogging, don't blog. This is your space, made by you, for you.

Or you could be like me and post excuses for why you haven't blogged in a shameless attempt to pretend that Sims 2 doesn't rule your life. That works, too. Oh, wait, did I type that out loud?

8/31/2005 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

you guys all make great points, and i'll probably take you up on your advice to take a break and/or stop trying to think outside the box for awhile...

sour duck, i would love to find more contributors. unfortunately, political apia bloggers are few and far between... this was part of the reason APIA blogs was made... i've been canvassing around, but the idea still needs to catch on. thank you for the input though!

to tekanji ... i'm SO jealous you can play sims2. my computer sucks too much to install it... i thought about buying it just so i could stare at the box and wish mightily for the money to buy a new computer... :(

9/01/2005 01:48:00 AM  
Anonymous tekanji said...

Oh, that sucks so much, Jenn >< I don't know what I would do without my games :<

At least you can look at it this way: by the time you have the money for a new computer, you'll have a few good EPs to choose from. TS2 by itself is ok, but limited in a lot of ways. I myself am waiting for Nightlife, 'cause the community lots are really boring right now.

9/01/2005 07:10:00 PM  
Blogger solitaire said...

Oh girl, I thought *I* was the only one in this boat! :

i'm SO jealous you can play sims2. my computer sucks too much to install it... i thought about buying it just so i could stare at the box and wish mightily for the money to buy a new computer... :(

My laptop is so laughable, I won't even list its stats. I didn't torture myself by buying The Sims 2, though. I would just cry looking at it. And there are EXPANSION PACKS for it ... need. New. Computer. NOW! (lol)

9/02/2005 12:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Kaede said...

Don't worry about your audience. As far as I'm starting to see, it's not about them, it's about getting out what you feel, even if it bothers other people. If they don't like, then they can just not read. That's what I do.

And I think I'm doing an oke job of keeping my blog-life (such as it is) from interfering with my personal life. (yeah, I do still consider you a friend *chuckles and hugs* As I mentioned to ya privately before, the blog-life is not the be-all and end-all of our friendship so life does go on even if we have [serious] disagreements.) A break would be all right, but it has to be something you wanna do, not just because you're worried you might offend a few people with your opinions.

9/02/2005 11:52:00 AM  

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