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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Reflections on turning 23

(Yes, this post is a shameless ploy to remind you guys that tomorrow is my birthday. I expect birthday greetings.... just kidding!) I think Jessica Simpson is a moron, but she did have some cogent points on turning 25. Inarticulate as she might be, she conveyed some pretty compelling arguments about one's mid-twenties; each year that progresses suddenly puts you unflinchingly closer to that terrifying milestone of being 30. At 23 or 24, you can still pretend to be young, youthful, and get away with dyed hair and piercings, but there's something about being the big 3-0 that demands suits, button-up shirts, and impeccable makeup from a department store counter (no more late night runs to Eckers for Wet n Wild lipstick). Of course, I'm lucky in that I'm still seven years away from being 30. Tomorrow, I'll be turning the big 2-3. Suddenly, I'm closer to my mid-twenties than my early twenties, suddenly I'm not a barely legal, youthfully optimistic, fresh-out-of-college young'un. I feel like I should be more mature, more established, more sure of who I am and where I'm going. Every year, up until this point, life has set out some goals as to where I should be, but standing here, on the brink of 23, the scariest thing is finding I no longer have anyone to hold my hand. I no longer have 16 to look forward to with my first kiss and first boyfriend, no longer to I have 19 to look forward to with buying my first pack of cigarettes (though I never smoked) and my first lottery ticket, and at 21, I at least knew I should be getting trashed (legally), getting my degree, and finding a job. Now, at 23, I've bought my first car (hopefully, there's a bit of a SNAFU on the paperwork right now), signed my first lease that's been all on my own, and tried to remake myself into the A-type personality I should've been at Cornell. And yet, it didn't really sink in that my childhood is basically over until tonight, when it occurred to me that now, if I screw up, there's no one to blame but myself. And, I find myself equal parts apprehensive and excited beyond belief. So here's to another year. Bottoms up.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Kaede said...

*hugs* Happy birthday, Jenn. Think of it as another year of experience gained. More independance that you've longed for.

I personally don't see age as anything to worry about, really. I may go on about how old I feel on the outside (mainly cuz I usually feel about 200 yrs old LOL so it's kind of irrelevent) but my real age is nothing but a number. Inside, I don't feel any older than 19 and prolly don't act it LOL. I have so many younger friends who say that I don't act my age and it makes me proud on one hand because I'm not obssessing over being that much closer to 'pushing 40' (what am I pushing 40 of anyway? pencils? bobby pins? ;) ) like so many people seem to do. It does make me feel a bit sad tho, cuz what will I do if I do ever start 'acting my age'? I hate the 'matronly' outfits that shops around here seem to think go with my body shape and age group. They look like something my grandmother wears. She's like...almost 80 so why would I wanna look like that?

I can't tell ya how to feel or act, hon. This is just my philosophy. I don't feel it, so I don't act it unless absolutely necessary :) I have confidence in you tho, you won't screw up. You're too together for that and that's one of the many things I admire in you. You may not feel it, but you sure project it and it's a good thing, trust meh.

Let loose, have a smashing birthday with as many trimmings as you can have on a limited budget and few acquaintances, and know that we're all here, silently (or otherwise) wishing you the very best. *hugs again*

8/24/2005 04:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off: Happy Birthday!

I can well understand the feelings of impending doom at the thought of the "Big 3-0", as I was told myself when I turned 25 that I was over the hill.

However, I'd like to reassure you that it's just not the case that being 30 means you automatically turn into a suit-wearing serious type. I truly don't want to patronise, but I have to say reading that did raise a smile....which you'll well understand when you hit 30 yourself.

I know, I know--that does sound patronising, but it is also true. I'm about to turn 42, and to me, 30-year-olds are still youngsters.

As Kaede said, you don't ever really feel "grown up" anyhow. I think there really needs to be better communication between age groups. I have to admit that I find it surprising that people think "grown-ups" are necessarily more serious-minded....or at least less fun-loving.

I come from the punk generation and see on a daily basis a large number of people my age who don't wear suits, who are dyed, tatooed and pierced. Surely they aren't invisible to others?

Crys T

8/24/2005 07:57:00 AM  
Blogger Karlos said...

Shit, I meant to call you to say "Happy Birthday" yesterday. Oh well, Happy Belated Birthday.

I assume you avoided calling me on my birthday last weekend just to make sure I wouldn't feel bad now ;-)

Hope Arizona's treatin' ya right!

-K
aka. "Kaptain Privilege"
aka. "K-Priddy"

8/25/2005 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

K-Priddy? Could you possibly get less pimped out? That's like the anti-thesis of pimped out. That's like Napoleon Dynamite.

8/25/2005 03:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is aline from RBJ. Happy Belated Birthday! :)

8/25/2005 03:06:00 PM  
Blogger Karlos said...

Yeah, but it got down to the last minute, and I needed a new alias to wear to this year's VMAs ;-)

8/25/2005 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger jose said...

Happy Birthday Jenn!

23's a great age. I really enjoyed it -- just enough after 21 and not yet at 25, on the cusp of establishing a path. Still having fun at 28, actually, though I know the impending bday that ends in the depressing zero is soon approaching. But it's always gotten better once I've had the freedom.

Cheers!

8/25/2005 08:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Winnie said...

I hope you had a very happy birthday. :)

8/26/2005 09:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Jenn. - Terry

8/26/2005 10:49:00 AM  

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