Tuesday, March 22, 2005

no more pretty khakis!

Did anyone else breathe a sigh of relief when they found this out?

Gap dumps 'Sex' star Retail chain replaces Sarah Jessica Parker with British soul singer Joss Stone as new spokeswoman. LONDON (Reuters) - British soul singer Joss Stone and her music will be featured in new advertising for Gap Inc. as the retailer replaces "Sex and the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker for its summer advertising campaign. Gap (Research) said late on Monday it would use models and Stone to sell its white denim line. Devon-born Stone, 17, earned three Grammy Award nominations, including one for best new artist, and scored two of the 50 best-selling albums in the world last year with EMI's "The Soul Sessions" and "Mind, Body & Soul." San Francisco-based Gap originally signed Parker in mid-2004 to a three-season contract, which it said was the first multi-season deal it had ever signed with a celebrity. She appeared in Gap ads from fall 2004 through spring 2005. "While Gap will always seek partnerships with celebrities, musicians and rising stars, we don't have any future plans to sign a single person to a multi-season deal like the unique and special relationship we enjoyed with Sarah Jessica," the company said in a statement. Gap stock was little changed in afternoon New York Stock Exchange trading.
Sarah Jessica Parker is not cute, and her temporary reign as prissy, way-too-girly Gap spokeswoman was unimpressive and annoying at best. And she can't sing (... or act... or... does she even have any talent besides being an animated mannequin?). Even had I wanted to shop at the Gap, I would've been scared away by her big-headed, toothy grinning mug that they plastered all over the display windows. Thank god it's over -- I'm done with that Joker-esque smile and piss-poor crooning. Now I can have my Sarah Jessica Parker in small digestible doses -- syndicated sterilized episodes of Sex in the City on primetime television. Then again, this is still replacing one blonde-haired skinny white bitch with another.


Blogger William said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3/23/2005 11:46:00 AM  
Blogger William said...

I'll have you know that Joss Stone has a Black boyfriend. That, of course, means that she keeps it real! Just liked Julia Stiles! The nerve of you...

3/23/2005 11:48:00 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...


that's like saying i 'keep it real' 'cuz of electroman. we all know that ain't the case...

besides, i don't care of stone keeps it real, she's still a skinny white bitch...

3/23/2005 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger James said...


This calls for some Khallid Muhammad.

Intro to "Cave Bitch", by Ice Cube

"Give me a Black garden sista',
I can't resist her.
No skinny-haired,
Blonde-haired, blue-eyed,
Pale skin, buttermilk complexion,
Grafted recessive depressing,
Ironing board backside
Straight up! straight down,
No frills no thrills,
Miss 6 o'clock:
Subject to have the Itch,
Mutantoid, Caucasoid,
White Cave Bitch."
- Khallid Muhammad

Words to live by.

3/23/2005 03:18:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

heeeeey.... you used to say that *I* have a buttermilk complexion!

*is shocked and saddened*

3/23/2005 03:20:00 PM  
Blogger James said...

I said you were Butterscotch.

There's a difference.

3/23/2005 03:22:00 PM  
Blogger William said...

First off, it's good to know that I've still got "it"; the ability to start some shit, especially when I'm joking...

Secondly, I don't get y'all sometimes. Yes, Gap tends not to skew towards minorities, but why the "skinny white bitch" comment? What'd they ever do to you? If they'd chosen Heidi Fleiss or Tanya Harding, or someone of disreputable character, I'd be right behind ya. But to lash out with "skinny white bitch" for someone who, for the most part, has been pretty assuming in their career, makes it seem more like you've got a problem and not them. Not words to live by, but certainly something to think about.

And that was a half-ass save with the whole "buttermilk" thing. I hope you bought her some flowers or something 'cause you sure stepped in it! "Butterscotch"'s like you get your lines from "KIDS" or something...

3/23/2005 09:41:00 PM  
Blogger phillyjay said...

Yeah, what's with the white female dis at the end? Jealousy anyone? :)

3/24/2005 02:24:00 PM  
Blogger James said...

those cracka bitches deserve it!

it's true.....


3/26/2005 06:38:00 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

you are SO un-PC.

3/26/2005 12:12:00 PM  
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